Last week I composed the music on this spot for (RED), the amazing charity committed to helping eliminate AIDS in Africa. The campaign is to commemorate world AIDS day, and to encourage your support through your purchases with any of the nine brands affiliated in this good fight.

Spread the RED word !

Homestretch

This is a wall in my studio. The sheet of paper in the middle is my to do list for my album.
There's about 20 things left to do. Some are little tasks that I can get through in an hour or so. Some are bigger tasks that take me all day. And some are little tasks that spawn three more baby tasks.
There are a few on there that are to be outsourced - a song that Mike Watt will play bass on, a song that Britta Phillips and some other girlfriends will sing on. But look. Look now - geez, would you LOOK at me on the homestretch? This is huge!
I started this baby in 2006.
I think I might actually get my record finished before Axel calls it a wrap.

Los Angeles

When I picked up my rental car last night at the airport, the lady at the desk commented:

"A whole month - a long vacation!"

I said, no, no actually I'd be working while I'm here. To which she replied

"What do you do? You look like a Scientologist!"

I laughed so loudly. So loudly. "Really?!"

Then I said "Do you mean a scientist? I think you mean a scientist."

She had indeed meant to say scientist.

Wow.

Recording with Dar Williams

Pelle, Dar, Travis, Lara, Brad.

(This was taken before we felt comfortable touching each other in any way. Things were more huggy by the end.)


In January, I played piano and keyboards for Dar Williams 7th album. It was recorded by my dear friend, the famous Brad Wood. I made new friends - Travis (drums) Pelle (guitar) and lovely Dar. One of my new favorite people is Noah Goldstein, the engineer at Electric Lady Studios, where the record was made. He is so lovely and I just want everyone to know him and be his friend.


With Dar Williams and Lucy Wainwright-Roche

I co-wrote a song with Dar too, which for my part involved my saying things like "What does pantheon mean?" and " I think you should use 'and' instead of 'but'"

There was a lot of story-telling in the studio, mostly Brad and Dar. I had (what seemed like) the whole synopsis of 'The Sopranos' explained to me, and I was still in my coat, standing in the doorway, having arrived for the days work just moments before. Including detailed character descriptions, the whole thing took just over an hour. I've never seen the sopranos, other than flicking past it on hotel room televisions - now I don't need to.

Also: A lot of cookies and cake - the sweet tooth was activated and in full force by the 4th week of the records production, and I take most of the responsibility for dragging everyone into the vicious sugar cycle with me.

I'm going to play keyboards for Dar for a few shows in April.

Apr 12 Calvin Theater Northampton, Massachusetts
Apr 16 Tupelo Music Hall Londonderry, New Hampshire
Apr 17 Higher Ground Ballroom S. Burlington, Vermont
Apr 18 Center for the Arts Lake Placid, New York

El May will support on the 18th in Lake Placid.

ComperRatken

ELEVEN

Today on the Eleventh of the Eleventh Eleventyleven, Eleven of the very sweetest man friends of mine came over (actually two live here, my boyfriend and the landlord downstairs) with their acoustic guitars. They sang harmonies and played for the outro of a song for my record. It's so pretty. I cannot believe I didn;t take a single photo or shoot some video. It looked and sounded gorgeous.
My friend Micheal Arthur was there drawing, I'll post that soon.
thank you Andrew V, Andrew, Anthony, Brendan, Cameron, Josh, Kyle, Nick, Micheal L, Pascal, Shannon.





drawing by Michael Arthur

EL MAY @ UNION HALL

Smoke and Rain

This afternoon I rode the train upstate 1 hour to stay at the home of some dear friends who are away for a bit. I packed three good books and a small acoustic guitar, journals, some Larabars and a change of clothes. It's the first time Ive stayed in this place, their previous home is nextdoor, up the hill a bit. Arriving by cab from the station, I was relieved the door key they left for me worked. It was rainy, approaching sundown. Perfectly cosy, and every bit as romantic as my friend had described, I was stunned at how quiet the sweet old carriage house was. I wrote to Kyle "its so quiet here!" I wrote to the friends whose house it is "thankyou so much!! its so quiet! im so happy!" I IMMed with their son "im at your ma and pa's ! its so cool!".
I was downstairs reading a magazine and thought why am I still wearing my coat? I'm cold and the heat doesn't seem to be kicking in. I went upstairs.
Oh the fireplace! Of course. There was newspaper scrunched under the log - all ready to go. I lit a match and threw it towards the back of the fireplace. Can you see where this is going?
Somehow I've escaped 30 years without learning about flues - opening up the chimney. It was really really scary. First I stared at the little bit of smoke escaping above the mantle "Is this normal?" I was thinking. Then I realised there was smoke hanging around the roof, and spreading out and down. Then there was a lot of smoke in the house. Alot. THe alarm went off, crazy drama alarm like in the movies - "BEEP BEEP BEEP FIRE ON THIRD FLOOR FIRE ON THIRD FLOOR" The feeling was not unlike a nightmare. Terrified, I ran around opening windows and doors. It felt really dangerous to be in smoke that thick. I tried calling my friends who own the house, then the neighbour. I could barely speak. The home phone rang, and it was the Fire Dept. Then the trucks arrived, and the people in huge crazy fire suits came to deal with it and rushed me downstairs.
The neighbour was so comforting while I cried and paced. She and I saw the flaming logs being hurled out on to the wet grass from the window above.
The firemen said that the flue was open, and that there was something wrong with the chimney, which makes no sense because I didn't open it. Weirdly, I don't think they know about flues because now that Im an expert, I can say it seemed shut to me. Anyway, it was nice to have so many people in uniforms tell me it was all going to be OK.
The lovely neighbour told me to come up the hill and stay at her house, and that's where I am. We both smelled like bushfire. The house is airing out. I felt like orphan Annie with my dress and peacoat and suitcase.

changes

(pic:Fionna Allan)

Winter Blows and Sucks

Winter is harder for me than any other external influence. In a baby store I worked in a while back there was a t-shirt that read 'Winter Sucks', with a cute bird below. When the store was quiet, I would hold up that that tiny brown hipster baby-t, staring at it and nodding to myself. Yah-huh, yes it's really true, look someone even made a t-shirt.

Here's something nice though, an El May website. It's still partially on bits of paper in the material world, but soon will be converted to its combinations of 1s and 0s and on a computer screen very near you (if you like). www.elmayforever.com

Gremlin, Cheerleader, Soldier

"Wear the percussion!" was the rushed self-timed photo 'motivation' here.

I've been back in the studio with Joe this week, after a few weeks of home recording and a quick visit to the west coast.
A few days ago there was a serious out of body experience meltdown, which had me - again, but way more serious this time - about to cancel recording. I became some other thing - I became my scariest most meanest gremlin, and/or a muscular and well-armed self-sabatuer. But then I mustered my Cheerleader and my Soldier (fairly new friends) and somehow got myself in the car, and to the studio. Do you follow kids?
Anyway, it worked - I'm still here.
The thing I'll remember from these few days is that when I'm doing this music stuff is when I feel most like a happy, playful kid, and thats a great reason to keep showing up.


Cool snapshot of the week: Riding my bike slowly down the midldle of Music Row in the afternoon. A running race was on, so blocked off streets, and no cars. A thunderstorm was on the way, and it was so quiet it felt like I might be the only thing moving in the whole city.

El May Nashville

Tea Brew

I used tea and blueberries to paint this:


Today I'm a choclafied manic lonely person with lady-pains. Ive been drawing alot and then freaking - ah, what about the songs?! There are three brewing. So tempting it is, to leave them in this (sometimes) deceptive stage - ahh the potenital of a good brew, before its ready for a proper tasting.
Time to get back to work. I shan't sleep until i've at least built a nice sturdy bridge in the general direction of tomorrow wanderings.

Bruising/Cruising/Musing

I was good for nothing for days after just two in the studio - that level of nervous energy and concentration was something I hadn't been through in a while. I recorded a totally brand new song - in itself this is entirely amazing, because I've not written a song for just ages and ages. The surprising result was a song that sounded like the band I was in as an 18/19yr old, Lustre 4, minus the painful screaming. (I listen to that and think ' woah, who is that') Anyway, it's sort of poppy up-tempo and guitar jangley with a chorus that I think , I think... is catchy. We'll see - judging that part's not up to me now is it.

Being so over focused on that first day as being the beginning of a process that I've talked about, obsessed with, put off, lost sleep over, created bad habits to avoid, cried about, ect, ect, I subconsciously exhausted myself to take the edge off the nerves and brevity. Not the healthiest way of dealing, but quite effective as far as temporary measures go. Except my singing voice was not great, so I'll have to re-do some vocals. And the verses I threw together the morning of weren't amazing either. Ahhh yes, this may take many many years. (!)

My friend Joe Costa (above), engineer/advisor extraordinaire is.. well, extraordinary. Such an fantastic person to work with. He's in major demand in this town, and its little wonder why. I feel lucky indeed to have his expertise and assistance.

So there's those times when inspiration comes, the muse as they call it, and there's also those times when you just sit and make yourself work no matter how inspired your feeling.

The other day my friend Tyler dispatched a gem in relation to these things. He said the best thing you can do is support yourself in a way that inspiration/the muse can access you as a channel for creativity. It's completely obvious I suppose, but I guess the way he said was perfect or I was really receptive to the idea at that time. So yes, sometimes, that's sitting at the piano, (writing desk, dance studio, whatevs) until something happens, and it usually does (if you do stay there for 9 hours). But it might be a less directly related activity: taking a bath, going for a walk, the movies, phone sex, napping and writing down a dream, or kicking it with a friend. And while it can be a slippery slope into time-wasting territory (my particular brand is real estate website addiction - serious, very serious - many many hours, bad bad) it's fairly easy to recognize when you're encouraging creative spirit versus hemmoraging it.

I've been working in that disciplined way (first time ever) - forcing myself to keep going, to follow the little threads, literally talking to myself ("This is really fun !! keep going Lara !!") and staying in the studio by myself, layering ideas, joining them and changing them, despite feeling tired to the point of nodding off in my chair. Today the thought of making that sort of effort that made me start crying on the phone to (lovely) Kyle. I realised it was a day to stay home and absorb things, there was nothing left to squeeze out.

So yeah, I stayed in bed for ages and read, listened to lots of music, and then - woah attack - I *actually* left the house and am writing this in a cafe - with people in it ! People all around !

ok ok ,
heres photos from the official first two El May in-a proper-studio-recording days.

The end of the 1st day: Thank God I took a photo of this drumming bruise when I did. (It got better by the morning = less impressive.)



Studio spaghetti:


OK time for a bath and some phone sex.

Wet Blackout

Nashville thuderstorm: wow, they really are incredible. There's blue flashes coming into the room from the skylight in the bathroom, and it sounds like water is just gushing from the sky.
I'm sitting with 17 minutes left on my computer, no internet connection and no power. It feels like Frontier House. I had just hauled many electronic devices up to my room that need charging - camera, minidisc, computer, phone. Wow. I was going to post a special blog about how tomorrow I go into the studio to start my record.

I suppose i could get candles and read one of the 8 (!) books at my bedside. No. Too tired, could be a disaster.

I'm having a very good time in Nashville. Alot of time at home - baths, naps, playing music, and daily excursions outdoors to ride my bike and go swimming. Its weird when you realise you had a fantasy of something, when/because you're living in it. This is that. Time to focus on music, writing and rest. I'd imagined it would be in a new place, and that it would be for three months.

With the exception of the lady who puts a wristband on me when Im entering the pool, I've spent entire days with no real human interaction. I love it. I'm having the (alone) time of my life. And strangely counter to this, I'm suddenly in a serious relationship. After three point five years single. (I'm proud of this, which is why it's written out in letters, seems longer?) It's a longish-distance relationship for the moment, because I am all about staying here Nashville for 2.5 more months (numerals = seems shorter?) and my lovely significant other travels a lot when he's not in Brooklyn.

It's the next day. Power's back.
Im very nervous about recording today. I have thought about cancelling for these reasons:

1. I didn't buy have a hard drive yet, to store my songs on.
2. I absent mindedly ate a lot of dairy products in the last week.
3. There was a power outtage last night (don't know how this relates exactly)
4. I don't have a 2nd verse for the song yet.
5. I'm supposed to be playing drums and am really really out of practice.
6. I'm really really tired because being creative and extra focused has made me so excited that I have barely slept for the last few nights
7. Its raining (can't justify this one either)

Peppery, salty, olive oily, heirloom tomatoes with basil.

Well Wishing

Thank you to everyone for all the messages and well wishing! Reading them all makes me feel very supported, thanks tons.

I've written lots in the last few weeks, but nothing blog-sensical. Navigating a massive life-change has been/is such an emotional/psychological workout. Several times I felt elation and terror within a 5-minute stretch. Too swift and revolutionary to be to be called mood-swings, they were more like mood 'spins'.

Ben's company has been a part of my everyday for years, especially the last two or three. It's strange to let go of the companionship and support of someone whose focus and resilience teaches you just being nearby. Sometimes, in the last few weeks, it's felt like I was having open-heart surgery while I walked around, while I played shows, while I sat in the van. Disengaging, reflecting, repairing - this upheaval means removing some old things, growing some new things, and getting ready for what feels like my biggest and most challenging task so far.

So many things Ben and I have been through! Adventures both mundane and miraculous. Really ordinary things, like hundreds of meals, flights, shows, and hours and hours in vans. And other super-extraordinary things - too out there to even go into here. Even more amazing is how normal the extraordinary became in the last few years.

Plenty of times I thought, how did I get so lucky that I get to hang out with and listen to this grand human, and witness up-close such an amazing thinker, that I get to hear all the dreams and plans of an extremely devoted and hard-working manifester.
And other times that I've felt like it was some kind of punishment to co-exist so closely with such a fast mover. I'd compare my own inability to make things happen, to make changes in myself for the better, etc, etc, and get wound up and upset. There is no one else that I have learned so much from directly and indirectly as from dear Ben.

In various ways Ben's told his audience the things I do for him, and it seems like Im some sort of gracious martyr angel, but Ben has been really very patient with me and given me lots of room for cycles of exploration and stumbling and strength.

The eight years that I've been blessed with these opportunities is held as my favourite times and my very steepest learning curves. Not to mention almost daily teary soundless hysterical laughter at things seemingly only funny to he and I. Ben's been not just my boss, but my teacher, my brother, a generous friend, a sweet companion, and he's shown me more than anyone else how to see goodness in everyone and the lessons in everything.

So much love to you Ben Lee.

Thirty

Most people have kind friends just out of the city who invite them to stay. But there's so many things to do, and you never go. Well go! Tell yourself you'll leave in the afternoon, and be back by noon the next day. What a readjustment. Waking up where it's a bit quieter and you're a guest and it feels like a new start.

Dinner followed by delicious chocolate cake, with my lovely just-out-of-the-city friends:

Extra Dimensions

I sat next to a famous director on a redeye flight back from LA. He's very beautiful and it made me say such dumb things, I felt like I was 13.
Not only was it great to be flying first class (thanks Jimmy Kimmel), I was in seat 3-D which was extra-dimensional in itself. Usually I pass out, open-mouth drooling before those yellow blow-up lifesafetyjacketvests have even gotten a mention. But right there in 3-C was the handsome director person, and anyway, I had a hard time operating the insane reclining seat/bed/pod. Too many moving parts! Too many buttons! Too many ! They need to have a special course for first class first-timers.

My dear friend is subletting my room, so I am on the day bed in my Brooklyn apartment. My other roomate has fallen asleep with her TV on. It sounds like some very racy late-night sort of television. Its so loud and annoying, I can't sleep. Should I sneak in there and switch it off?
There - I turned it off.

I've had some dreams where my surroundings turn into swampy but flourescent, damp, creature-ridden places. Plants with strong personalities. Very alive and scaryish but in a Willy Wonka way - cartoony scary. A surprising/exhilarating fun way - not so much threatening. Dream advisor-person says: thriving and fertile creativity, I like it. Lots of animals too, and im not even a big fan of animals, but sometimes I pat them and mostly I dont eat them, which is nice of me.

The INEALTTMCSIOD Award

The ''I've Never Experienced Anything Like This!' : Two Most Contrasting Situations In One Day' Award goes too....... Yesterday!
Little girls playing in the Johannesburg township of Soweto, that little girl took the water bottle out of my hand, they are short on running water here in her village. Then, we were driven to the venue of our show, one of the many malls in J-Burg, to play for teenage girls at a 'slumber party' for a magazine? TV show? Yes, that is a chocolate fountain, and yes that is a disco ball and yes a big dollar sign hanging behind it.

Thinking of you today as you RIP, Kurt Cobain (born 2.20.67, found dead 4.8.94).

Johannesburg

I was halfway down the lane this morning, swimming backstroke and I remembered a squad teacher I had a few years ago. I would train a few times a week with this group in Williamsburg Brooklyn, and most people were more experienced than me at training in this way. Anyway, a trainer woman, Katlin I think her name was, she was TOUGH and not there to make friends. She announced that we'd do 200m butterfly at one point. I put my hand up "I can't do butterfly"
"Yes you can", she said, "You're about to."
Without indulging me for a second, she counted us off. "OK. Go, go, .. go.. go.. "
Somehow based on what I'd seen, what I thought butterfly would feel like, I did it. Im sure it wasn't flawless or graceful or anything, but I butterflyed up a storm and continued to while I was in that squad.
So anyway, I'm remembering Katlin's generous energetic transfer, and that scary/awesome feeling. The second when you cross over from 'I can't' to 'I am'.

Last night I learned how shock can move you to feel in a specific location of your body. Seeing Ben get hurt, and uselessly imagining how much worse it could have been... rage, love and despair rushed together into a dark rectangular shape that pressed down behind my rib cage. It's heavy like slate but glides and hovers like smoke or mercury.

But to experience this also revealed a co-existing deep love and empathy, plus an opportunity to witness more examples of forgiveness and grace from the bravest man I know.

Four Seater

Two little things that informed my deduction that the four-seater plane we took today was very, very vintage. On the right, the door handle to exit the plane. Looks smaller and older than some of the handles on car doors I rode in as a girl in the 80's.

On the left, an old envelope containing a 'Sic Sac'. The little elf man is unhappy when he becomes nausious. So he opens the envelope containing the 'Sic Sac'. He fills it and is smiling again. But always running, that sick, happy little elf man.

Game Over

Drummer
Rob (torso seen here) posted this blog entry that described up the Games performance.
Every step of the process was somehow surprising. My favourite part was the extra-quick walking to the middle of the stadium.

Seat Pocket/Personal Items

I boarded a flight from Toronto heading to Los Angeles and placed many many projects in the seat pocket in front of me: book, magazines x 2, very fancy headphones, journal. Then slept heavily for the entire flight.
Confused and sleepy, I disembarked that aircraft without my very fancy headphones and my journal.
Goodbye to you journal, smaller than my regular journals, purchased from a newsagency in Rockhampton or Mackay.
Goodbye all those pages of admissions, aspirations, drawings, directions, confessions, complaints, frustrations, appreciations, prayers, lists, lyrics. The last of the occasional mentions of a confusing and sad and way-too-long-ago-to-be-even-caring breakup; part of the arc of the album and ARIA anticipation; the various trials and pleasures of a year on tour. Goodbye goodbye goodbye, my time starts now.

End Game

Ben Lee and band at the rehersals for the Commonwealth Games closing. From left: Rob, G-Didds, BL, LM, NicNic

Window Seat

At the end of last year I was surprised by the masses of flight stubs that I found in various pockets and bags. I like the intimidating/majestic quality of aeroplanes. Especially when you watch them moving slowly around the tarmac out of huge glass airport windows, like sharks at an aquarium.

Mr and Mrs

My dear friend Britta was married last week. She now has a step-son, Jack. This excellent line is from an email she just sent me:




'Jack is so cute. Last night he said, "I keep remembering you're my step-mom. It's so exciting." I almost ate him.'

Reluctant-Tambourine-Gift-Receiver/Picnic

What is this place?
saw it on the way out of LA. It could be something scary, but I like the big sign anyway.
Ive been paying really close attention to my dream life lately. Recently I've had a few dreams about infant girls, there are people around, and in the dream I become aware that no one's taking care of them. They're sort of scared and intimidated and a bit lost. Anyway, I end up really wanting to look after them and make sure they're OK.

So the other night Ben had a little girl come onstage and hold the toy piano for Catch My Disease. She was terrified. So cute but just standing there in horror staring at the ground. She became the embodiment of the little girls I'd been dreaming about. I felt such compassion for her and my heart ached to stop playing and just take care of her forever! Anyway, instead I gave her my red star tambourine. It felt like I was honouring and healing the scared little girl part of myself. I wanted her to remember the night and somehow help her to dream.. or something. But she wouldn;t take it!! She absolutely flat-out refused, shaking her head as she left the stage to huge applause. I hunted her down, and eventually convinced her that I really wanted her to have the tambourine. She was such a sweetie and just thought I should keep it because I needed it.
Does that not break your heart?!?!?
Phew, eventually she accepted.



This is a different little girl. Her name is Opal. Try not to die from her cuteness. She is here with her mum Audrey, a dear friend. The three of us had a breakfast picnic in my San Fran hotel room.

CA Snow Storm

They were exhausted but satisfied, having pushed a mini-van on an icy road in a snowstorm. There were three of them in one room, the last vacant room in town, squealing at Witherspoons and Hoffmans, hot-showered and delighted with a ground-level Chinese take-out picnic dinner.

Dead Grateful

I can be fairly complainy. And when I'm tired, I blame such a spectacular array of things on the fact I'm on tour ..mostly always. Because while i really love to tour, I love home life too: My own super-comfy bed and shower, cooking, all the routines and spontenaiety in a great neighbourhood of favourite cafes, friends, classes, swimming pools.
Lately though I'm experiencing extreme gratitude for lots of things, including my amazing job.

This particular run is very mellow with just three people (Ben, tour manager Wendy, me) It's less of a travelling party, much quieter. Less pee stops, less really bad fast food eating, and a lady TM on the road helps tons. Lots of good things.

Heres some more good things:
*I wake up in a comfortable king size bed and the pillows are so nice.
*If I want to excersice, there's usually a fitness room, or a nice walk or trail nearby.
*Theres mostly always wireless
*I have my own bathroom (at home I share)
*Never have to wash dishes or vacuum
*This morning there was a lovely couch and a fireplace in the lobby ( i thought - 'I'm at home, and I have a fireplace')

Life in hotels also offers opportunities to see some strange and hilarious things.
At 10am this morning in our Seattle hotel, a young dude in a wheelchair was cheerily explaining to Ben that he was hungover, and thats why he was drinking beer.

Then this evening, checking in to our hotel, we saw these characters filing in:






















On the other side of the hotel was another function for Hawaiian entertainers.
I peeked in to that one, and it smelled very strongly of ham.

Nic Nic

This is me with Bens' bass player Nic Nic. He got that name when a shopkeeper mistakenly wrote Nic Nic on his reciept.
We lay our heads on a photocopier that was backstage somewhere in some Australian town. It captured our dynamic quite well. I like to hassle him and play with him like a little brother. Once, while waiting at Canadian customs, he allowed me to adorn him with lovely vintage hair clips, with not more than a few deep sighs and a little bit of eye-rolling. Not only is he very good at taking my relentless teasing and tickling, but he'll often laugh heartily in a voice way deeper than you'd expect from a baby-faced 25 year old.

Goodbye Brooklyn

There was clearing, packing and tax paperwork doing for two days.
Then there was waking up from a very short nights'(?) sleep (4.00-4.45am) to these sights.

Winter

Sometimes you see a young child stopped in their tracks on the street. They're not running away or throwing a tantrum, but they stand still watching while their parent or caretaker walks ahead. It's such a small and harmless simulation of being left alone, but maybe it's be their first taste of worldly independence.
Mostly the kid is coaxed or smiled at gently to which they respond with a semi-far away stare. Mouth gaping, head tilted, twitchy-eyed, they're imagining what they'd do next.

It's a nice experiment because they're not in great danger and its a chance to get familiar with important feelings. And it's over pretty quickly because the kid realises they actually dont want to be without their mother.

Decaf Chai, Almond Milk, Honey

Is there anything more satisfying and heart-warming than having your favourite friends come over on a freezing February night in Brooklyn, after an amazing and very local French dinner, and then you make them tea and they curl up on your couch and put a blanket on their lap? maybe not i think.

Instrumentally Liberated

I stress that this is just A VERY SMALL PART of my collection of instruments.
My room is absolutely crammed full of too many things. People have done extraordinary things under extremely uncomfortable conditions (Anne Frank, Hellen Keller) but I can;t concentrate on writing music or being creative at all in my cluttered room.
I've kept the 5 xylophones, 7 toy pianos, zither, q-chord, omnichord, ocarina, shakers and maracas, kick drum, guitars, marching snare, and all 14 keyboards ect, ect in here for the past couple of years. Just in case I do get around to making some Spectoresque masterpiece of an album entirely in my room. The thing is, Im never here. And also, when I am its should be to rest and recouperate. If I do any recording, pretty soon my room descends into a crazed mass of cables and clothes, knitting needles and gadget manuals, microphones and makeup; it's not ok.

So I thought about all this and decided that I'll be creating my wall of sound somewhere else, some other time.

Today with the help of amazing Walt, I moved it all into storage. Now these things look like they're under the surface of a frosted lake, stacked in clear plastic rubbermaid boxes. All these colourful toys and frills are so seductive and they haven't lost their appeal or importance to me, but this whole move was a kind of intense one because it means letting go of a mildly crippling fantasy.

Anyway, as far as writing good music goes, the limitation of less stuff will help me connect to what i'd really like to say. ah! liberated!

Creme Egg Accident

This morning I woke up and I had been sleeping in my very, very warm bed on a Cadbury Creme Egg. A fan had given it to me at the show in Dublin, and i found it in one of my equipment cases yesterday. I must have set it down on my unmade puffy bed. It had smooshed absolutely everywhere, and of course, managed to smear all over the seat of my pyjama bottoms, like some kind of sweet candy poo. Its quite weird, because I woke up feeling quite alot happier than I had in ages. Maybe its some magical formula, sleeping on chocolate.

Paris

Today I went to the Maison du Chocolat in Paris. I was on the way to my beloved friends, the Grosskopfs' house, and had a long way to walk. I asked for the richest kind of hot chocolate from the menu, and it was just extremely delicious. A woman in her 60s came and stood at the bar to my left. She looked a little worn out, and pissed off in that elegant way that older French woman can. She downed her hot chocolate and eclair so fast, in the same way someone might take vitamins. I've never seen anything like it. The chocolate rush contributed to my talking outloud to myself as I walked across Paris 'I love it here, I love this place'.

Strasbourg

This photo is from my 20 minute walk in Strasbourg, France.
It was almost unbearably cold, even though i was wearing two parkas.
That night, when Ben and I were eating dinner at the venue, a little boy came to the window, and was tapping and saying something in French. Ben thought it was a fan, and was waving and smiling, but we then realised that it was the cooks young son, trying to get in to see his mother.

Switzerland

i have 8 minutes on very expensive swiss wireless.
i love switzerland. last night i bought alot of music online, including the best of leonard cohen, which i already have several copies of, but wanted to hear it. i was in vienna, leonard record in brooklyn, so a re-purchase.
plus now the picture of the album comes up on the nano when i listen. have a french lesson podcast that i will listen to on the way to france tomorrow. a long drive today and lots of thoughts but no time to write about them here.

material/maternal

here is my first blog entry. im in spain on tour. sometimes i walk around the city i happen to be in, and the days all blur together. there's something sort of intangible about my job and my efforts lately that make me want to start a blog. it feels like an anchor. or grounding? land or sea... oh both, why not.
im very tired and spaced out but actually very satisfied after having a great show with less mistakes made by me in the history of this european tour so far. a lovely crowd tonight at the salamanca show.
so far ten days of extrordinary spanish food, in the company of my lovely old pal ben lee. im playing a crazy cajhone (sp?) thingy, plus keys, and im sure there are new brain cells forming, mulit-tasking to this extent.